Fair Time!

I'm feeling so much better about everything in my life! Yesterday I went to the fair with Steven and his dad, and it was awesome. So much fun, he even won a $23 plush snake for Lecie. I was so proud of myself though, I had so much opportunity to eat incredible amounts of bad stuff, and I only indulged a little. So worth it though. I do wish I would've had the mini donuts though they are amazing!  Things are actually good. I fit into some of my old jeans. Which ROCKS! I found a halloween costume for Lecie and things are just good. Maybe it will stay good and I will continue to have good luck. We will see. I have a meeting with CNM on Friday for special services so we will see.

Meatballs are yummy

I really really really love meatballs in spaghetti sauce, so when we had spaghetti the first night of this new eating plan, it practically killed me. Usually I have about 14. This time I had 6 which isn't bad. Problem is the next day I had meatballs for breakfast lunch and dinner and then had a huge binge afterward :(
Don't know really what caused my binge but it happened and now its over and I haven't binged tonight even though there are more meatballs. :)
Tomorrow is State Fair time and I get to go, I'm hoping things are better tomorrow and I don't go wacko on the food there. I want to maintain some sense, and not OVER indulge. I really like food way to much.
I wish I had more to say but I Really don't. Maybe I'll start relaying my day in this see if relaying everything to a webpage makes the binges stop hmm...

Technically this is for yesterday.....

I'm going to take this opportunity and post about my day, and the things that I feel and everything else as well as this being a weightloss journal.  I really want to change my life. I have to change my life in order to feel like I'm doing something right. Right now I feel like a lot is wrong, and that there are things that are out of my control. I feel like I miss a lot of things in my life. Things that my daughter does, things that happen. Just really little things that should be so important but I feel myself missing. The fact that me and my moms parenting styles are so very different. How Lecies likes and dislikes change depending on the person she is with. The fact that tonight, instead of playing with her in the bath I talked about tv shows and played with my hair. These things bother me. These are the things I want to fix first. I want her to know I'm her mom and I want her to have security with me. But we will see what happens.

Trying to get healthy.

So I stopped my journey for a good 8 months. I've gained almost all of my weight back, and well I'm not doing to well with weight.

Things have finally started looking up for me though. I'm doing better with my daughter, she is starting to like me more. I don't binge nearly as much as I used to. Which is amazing. I have a new boyfriend, and he makes me feel like I'm pretty just the way I am. Which is nice for a change. I still want to go down in weight though. I want to be atleast under 190. No promises but we will see. I guess its time to do the measurement and see where I am.

Stats
Age-22
Height-5'5"
Starting Weight-270lbsCurrent Weight-262


Measurements(to be done once a month)NEXT- 10-20-2011
Waist- 48inches gained 2 inches
Hips-51 inches measured wrong last time
Thigh-30 inches  gained 6 inches
Upper Arm-17inches gained 2 inches
Neck-16 inches  gained 2 inches
Calf-18 inches gained 2 inches
Bust-51 inches gained 4 inches
Under bust-44 inches gained 1 inch
NEWGoals
Weight in at 250- In ProgressWeight in at 240- Not Complete
Weigh in at 232- Not Complete
Weigh in at 220- Not Complete
Weigh in at 180- Not Complete
Weigh in at 160- Not Complete
Weigh in at 140- Not Complete
Be Happy With my Body - Not Complete

I guess now I will post some pictures to compare since this is basically a new start. Lets see where this one takes me. Maybe I'll write in every night how I feel and what this means to me.