What a couple of months :)

My life has been anything but ordinary the past few months. I've maintained my weight for the most part. Its going around 240-245. That is cool with me though, because its so much better than gaining. I really, really, really, really wanna restart this and I've got some good friends who are going to help me out. I don't know how I'll do it. But its gonna be worth it I hope.

Age-22
Height-5'5"
Starting Weight-270lbsCurrent Weight-244

Measurements(to be done once a month)NEXT- 11-20-2011
Waist- 43inches from 41 inches
Hips-50 inches  from 48.5 inches
Thigh-28 inches  from 24 inches
Upper Arm-15inches from 15 inches
Neck-16 inches  from 15 inches
Calf-17 inches from 17 inches
Bust-48 inches from  50 inches
Under bust-42 inches from 41 inches
NEWGoals
Weight in at 250- Complete!
Weight in at 240- In Progress
Weigh in at 232- Not Complete
Weigh in at 220- Not Complete
Weigh in at 180- Not Complete
Weigh in at 160- Not Complete
Weigh in at 140- Not Complete
Be Happy With my Body - Not Complete

check in time :)

Even though this month was a whole month of fail :( 

I still am forcing myself to check in and take pictures. I think thats something i haven't done in the past and I will continue to do so while i get my eating in order :) 


So go for still having some lost inches left :)


Stats
Age-22
Height-5'5"
Starting Weight-270lbsCurrent Weight-247

Measurements(to be done once a month)NEXT- 11-20-2011
Waist- 41inches from 44.5 inches
Hips-48.5 inches  from 50 inches
Thigh-24 inches  from 27 inches
Upper Arm-15inches from 15 inches
Neck-15 inches  from 16 inches
Calf-17 inches from 17 inches
Bust-50 inches from  50 inches
Under bust-41 inches from 41 inches
NEWGoals
Weight in at 250- Complete!
Weight in at 240- In Progress
Weigh in at 232- Not Complete
Weigh in at 220- Not Complete
Weigh in at 180- Not Complete
Weigh in at 160- Not Complete
Weigh in at 140- Not Complete
Be Happy With my Body - Not Complete

&&& Pictures

Party on the wagon?

After thanksgiving, I gotta do right by myself. I'm gonna come out and say it and say I've been self destructive. I let everything fall apart, because I got infatuated with the idea of something. I really want to be healthy, and maybe that is what I will be thankful for this year. Being healthy and having a beautiful baby to be able to share my life with. Things can't keep getting worse. There is only up from here.

Does anyone have any tips for staying on and not falling so far again? This happens every time something changes in my life. and it sucks!

I fell off.

Wow, its been a hell of a week. Got into a few HUGE fights with my family. Gained a few pounds and just generally SUCKED at everything.

Today is a new day, packed with fun and exciting things. We will see how this turns out. I wanna try to do this again. I wanna be healthy!

Lets go!

WOOT WOOT!

Ok the end.

Three Years.

Today is 3 years since I was raped. Three years since the POLICE did NOTHING.  I still have days where I believe it was my fault. I said no but I didn't fight. I let it happen. I walked into his house.  I still see him in my head, especially when sex is involved. More often than not people do not understand why this has affected me so much. There was technically no violence.

I said NO.


I want to curl up in a ball today and hide from the world. I don't want to leave the house, I just want to sleep the day away.

Atleast one good thing came of this. Even though I got crazy, lost myself, and slept with too many people. I got my beautiful healthy baby. If none of this had happened I have no doubt she would not be here.

So for that I am thankful.

Sick today :(

I feel like poop today :(. The landlord is coming by with an appraiser today, hopefully we can get the house cleaned in time :D.

I need ideas for things to eat when sick, because usually I eat all day when I'm sick cause it confuses my body, into thinking that I am not sick. I feel that way anyway.


I guess I'll start with some broth. :( GAH!

Bad week :(

I hate this week with mad passion. :(
I feel the same way today as I did yesterday. If I can get through this week without gaining five pounds that will be a miracle.
Oh!
Z, your right it wasn't a binge but it felt like it could have been the start. I've felt like going on a binge since yesterday afternoon, but I keep stopping myself. Which is progress in itself. :)

I said when I started this I wanted to be healthy both mentally and physically, and Friday I have a appointment to work more on the mental aspect. Hopefully this helps more and I'm able to succeed in what I want to do :)

I'll probably post more at the end of the day :)